You always imagined yourself not to be one of them, or rather you made yourself believe, even though deep down you felt otherwise, that somehow, inexplicably, you were superior to them. Perhaps not inexplicably because, come to think of it, not two beings are alike and the mind, like almost everything else, is like a normal distribution curve. You like to think it doesnt even follow a normal distribution curve, because, come to think of it, there are more idiots than everyone else on this earth. Of course since you are not an idiot by any chance, then you must be a genius - yeah,; but then something keeps on tugging at you relentlessly, pulling you back to earth, reminding that you are one of them. Think of it, some of them even do some things that you cant do by any chance,but somehow, you reason it has more to do with daring than ability.But still......
Somehow, that self assured wall of genius crumbles away and then the realization of how stark naked you are hits you, even more naked than them you despised. That is when it happens, you lose understanding of yourself; you just cant bring yourself to face the fact that the one thing that separated you from them was but an illusion, an illusion created by you PERHAPS to hide your inadequacies...which you so carefully covered with logical reasoning.
Of course they are not the enemy. Just because they exist doesnt mean they are the sole reason for your misery, and you know it, even though you feel otherwise. So logically you take it out on yourself....you hate yourself; yes you do, even though you dont want to believe it. You stay away from them; they seem to have it all and for you, well, you are defined by your inadequacies. You feel like really hurting yourself, like blood, like the excitement of bleeding to death is the best thing to ever happen you....
